The Dick Van Dyke Show Episode Guide

Episode Guide

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 5 (1965 - 1966)

• Season 5 Episode 32: The Last Chapter

  Rob's autobiography is bought by Alan Brady for a television series.

• Season 5 Episode 31: The Gunslinger

  Rob dreams he is a sheriff in the Wild West.

• Season 5 Episode 30: Long Night's Journey Into Day

  Laura spends a frightening night alone.

• Season 5 Episode 29: Love Thy Other Neighbor

  Millie is jealous of the new neighbors.

• Season 5 Episode 28: You Ought to Be in Pictures

  Rob is cast in a low-budget film and turns out to be the screen's worst lover.

• Season 5 Episode 27: The Man From My Uncle

  From the Petrie house, FBI agents watch a neighbor.

  Next on: Thursday 30th May 8:30am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 26: Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.

  Rob, Buddy and Sally are in trouble when their script insults the boss.

  Next on: Thursday 30th May 8:00am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 25: A Day in the Life of Alan Brady

  The Helpers' anniversary bash becomes a documentary.

  Next on: Wednesday 29th May 8:30am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 24: Talk to the Snail

  Thinking he is going to lose his job, Rob has an interview with a ventriloquist.

  Next on: Wednesday 29th May 8:00am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 23: Bad Reception in Albany

  Out-of-town Rob searches for a television set.

  Next on: Tuesday 28th May 8:30am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 22: Buddy Sorrell -- Man and Boy

  Buddy is either seeking therapy or having an affair.

  Next on: Tuesday 28th May 8:00am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 21: Dear Sally Rogers

  As a gag, Sally advertises for a husband on a national television show.

  Next on: Thursday 23rd May 8:30am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 20: Remember the Alimony

  Rob and Laura remember the time they completed an application for a $10 divorce.

  Next on: Thursday 23rd May 8:00am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 19: The Bottom of Mel Cooley's Heart

  Mel takes Rob's advice to stand up to Alan Brady -- and is promptly fired.

  Next on: Wednesday 22nd May 8:30am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 18: The Curse of the Petrie People

  Rob's parents give a family heirloom to Laura, who accidentally ruins it.

  Next on: Wednesday 22nd May 8:00am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 17: The Making of a Councilman

  Rob agrees to run for office but realizes he'd prefer to vote for his opponent.

  Next on: Tuesday 21st May 8:30am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 16: I Do Not Choose to Run

  Rob can't make up his mind when asked to be a candidate for the city council.

  Next on: Tuesday 21st May 8:00am EDT - TV Land
• Season 5 Episode 15: Who Stole My Watch?

  Rob accuses his friend of taking his missing watch.

• Season 5 Episode 14: Fifty-Two Forty-Five or Work

  Rob recalls the time he was out of work and Laura was expecting Ritchie.

• Season 5 Episode 13: You're Under Arrest

  Rob goes out to cool off after a quarrel with Laura and winds up in trouble.

• Season 5 Episode 12: See Rob Write; Write, Rob, Write

  Rob and Laura become rivals when each writes a story for children.

• Season 5 Episode 11: Body and Sol

  Rob recalls the time he defended his title as middleweight champion of an Army camp.

• Season 5 Episode 10: Go Tell the Birds and the Bees

  Rob and Laura find out that Ritchie has been telling stories in school.

• Season 5 Episode 9: Viva Petrie

  A bullfighter becomes the Petries' new handyman.

• Season 5 Episode 8: Odd But True

  Rob almost earns $500 because the freckles on his back are in the shape of the Liberty Bell.

• Season 5 Episode 7: The Great Petrie Fortune

  Rob's dreams of inheriting a fortune seem dashed when he gets an old desk.

• Season 5 Episode 6: Draw Me a Pear

  An art instructor sets her sights on student Rob.

• Season 5 Episode 5: No Rice at My Wedding

  Rob recalls when he almost lost Laura to another man.

• Season 5 Episode 4: The Ugliest Dog in the World

  Rob and Laura try to find a home for an ugly mutt from the dog pound.

• Season 5 Episode 3: Uhny Uftz

  Rob tracks a UFO to the office above his own.

• Season 5 Episode 2: A Farewell to Writing

  Rob has trouble getting started on writing a book.

• Season 5 Episode 1: Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth

  Alan Brady's toupee becomes common knowledge when Laura reveals the secret to a fast-talking game show host

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 4 (1964 - 1965)

• Season 4 Episode 32: There's No Sale Like Wholesale

  Buddy offers to help Laura get a fur coat for the wholesale price.

• Season 4 Episode 31: Br-Room, Br-Room

  Rob buys a motorcycle and is arrested as a joy-riding delinquent.

• Season 4 Episode 30: 100 Terrible Hours

  Rob recalls his job interview with Alan Brady following a keep-awake marathon radio broadcast

• Season 4 Episode 29: Baby Fat

  Rob lends a helping hand to TV comedian Alan Brady, by rewriting a play starring the celebrity

• Season 4 Episode 28: A Show of Hands

  Rob and Laura wear gloves to a prestigious awards banquet to hide their hands after accidentally dying them black

• Season 4 Episode 27: Never Bathe On a Saturday

  Laura finds herself in an embarrassing predicament when she gets her toe stuck up the bath spout in a fancy hotel : with the door locked from inside

• Season 4 Episode 26: Not Now Anthony Stone

  Nobody really knows what Sally's new boyfriend does for a living.

• Season 4 Episode 25: Your Home Sweet Home Is My Home

  Rob recalls when he and a pal wanted the same house.

• Season 4 Episode 24: Bupkis

  Rob learns that a song he helped write is about to become a hit.

• Season 4 Episode 23: Girls Will Be Boys

  The Petries face a problem when Ritchie is beaten up by a girl.

• Season 4 Episode 22: Young Man With a Shoehorn

  Rob learns that a shoe clerk's lot is not always a happy one.

• Season 4 Episode 21: The Case of the Pillow

  Rob Petrie becomes a trial lawyer to prosecute a shifty salesman.

• Season 4 Episode 20: The Redcoats Are Coming

  The Petries entertain a British duo (Chad & Jeremy).

• Season 4 Episode 19: Boy No. 1 vs. Boy No. 2

  Laura and Millie become stage mothers when their sons are cast in a TV commercial.

• Season 4 Episode 18: Stacey Petrie

  Stacey (Jerry Van Dyke) saves both his coffeehouse and his romance.

• Season 4 Episode 17: Stacey Petrie

  Rob's younger brother involves Sally Rogers in a romantic Waterloo.

• Season 4 Episode 16: The Impractical Joke

  Rob resorts to psychological warfare to get even with a practical joker.

• Season 4 Episode 15: Brother, Can You Spare $2500?

  Rob receives a ransom demand of $2,500 for his lost television script.

• Season 4 Episode 14: Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk

  Rob is forced to squelch the scheme of an opportunistic old friend.

• Season 4 Episode 13: My Two Showoffs and Me

  Rob, Sally and Buddy go on big ego trips when a national magazine wants to do a story about them.

• Season 4 Episode 12: The Death of the Party

  An ailing Rob tries to attend Laura's family reunion without anyone finding out that he is sick.

• Season 4 Episode 11: It Wouldn't Hurt Them to Give Us a Raise

  The writers demand a raise and get entangled in the world of corporate finance.

• Season 4 Episode 10: Pink Pills for Purple Parents

  Laura takes two pink pills and suffers disastrous side effects.

• Season 4 Episode 9: Three Letters From One Wife

  Rob risks his job when he convinces Alan Brady to do a cultural documentary program.

• Season 4 Episode 8: The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail

  The Alan Brady writers entertain at a prison and Rob gets locked up with the inmates.

• Season 4 Episode 7: 4 1/2

  Rob and pregnant Laura are trapped with a robber (Don Rickles).

• Season 4 Episode 6: Romance, Roses and Rye Bread

  Sally Rogers is romanced by her 'secret' admirer -- the owner of Monker's Delicatessen.

• Season 4 Episode 5: The Man From Emperor

  Rob is offered a job as humor consultant on a magazine for men-about-town.

• Season 4 Episode 4: The Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat

  Rob's friendship with Jerry is almost destroyed in a row over a neighbor's crab grass lawn.

• Season 4 Episode 3: The Lady and the Baby Sitter

  A teenage baby-sitter has a crush on Laura.

• Season 4 Episode 2: The Ghost of A. Chantz

  Rob, Laura, Sally and Buddy spend a frightening night in a haunted cabin at a mountain resort.

• Season 4 Episode 1: My Mother Can Beat Up My Father

  Laura proves more proficient than Rob in the art of self-defense.

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 3 (1963 - 1964)

• Season 3 Episode 32: Teacher's Petrie

  Rob is skeptical when Laura's new writing teacher thinks she shows promise.

• Season 3 Episode 31: I'd Rather Be Bald Than Have No Head at All

  Rob starts a daily count of the hairs he is losing.

• Season 3 Episode 30: My Neighbor's Husband's Other Life

  Rob and Laura suspect the worst when they spy Jerry dining out with another woman.

• Season 3 Episode 29: Dear Mrs. Petrie, Your Husband Is in Jail

  A night with an Army buddy lands Rob in jail.

• Season 3 Episode 28: October Eve

  An art exhibition at a New York gallery causes distinct embarrassment for Laura, as a nude portrait bearing her likeness is displayed. Classic American comedy from the 1960s

• Season 3 Episode 27: The Return of Edwin Carp

  Rob rounds up three notable personalities from the old days of radio for a TV special.

• Season 3 Episode 26: Scratch My Car and Die

  A scratch on Rob's brand-new car brings on a domestic crisis.

• Season 3 Episode 25: The Plots Thicken

  The Petries' parents conflict over cemetery plots.

• Season 3 Episode 24: How to Spank a Star

  At the insistence of a domineering guest star, Rob takes over as producer of 'The Alan Brady Show.'.

• Season 3 Episode 23: Honeymoons Are for the Lucky

  Rob recalls the hectic time of his Army marriage to Laura, and their trouble getting away for a honeymoon.

• Season 3 Episode 22: My Part-Time Wife

  Rob nearly goes out of his mind when Laura fills in for Sally at the office.

• Season 3 Episode 21: The Pen Is Mightier Than the Mouth

  Sally becomes a television personality overnight, and it is Rob and Buddy who suffer.

• Season 3 Episode 20: The Brave and the Backache

  Rob consults a psychiatrist to determine whether a series of mysterious ailments is psychosomatic.

• Season 3 Episode 19: Happy Birthday and Too Many More

  Laura and Rob give Ritchie a birthday party and 63 screaming moppets make a shambles of their house.

• Season 3 Episode 18: A Nice Friendly Game of Cards

  Rob wins at poker, but almost loses a few friends after inadvertently using marked cards.

• Season 3 Episode 17: The Life and Love of Joe Coogan

  An old flame of Laura's stirs up jealous feelings in Rob : especially when he sees the love poems he sent her years before. Michael Forest guests in the classic comedy

• Season 3 Episode 16: The Lady and the Tiger and the Lawyer

  When a handsome bachelor moves in next door, Rob and Laura turn matchmakers.

• Season 3 Episode 15: My Husband Is the Best One

  Rob finds himself in trouble when Laura interferes with an interview he is giving on Alan Brady.

• Season 3 Episode 14: The Third One From the Left

  A chorus girl on 'The Alan Brady Show' falls desperately in love with Rob.

• Season 3 Episode 13: The Alan Brady Show Presents

  The entire 'Alan Brady' staff presents a Christmas show instead of the script turned in by the writers.

• Season 3 Episode 12: The Sound of the Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears ... Or Something Like That!

  Rob becomes involved with the police when he thinks he has witnessed two crooks making their getaway.

• Season 3 Episode 11: Turtles, Ties and Toreadors

  Rob feels very much the hero when he hires a maid for his overworked wife, Laura.

• Season 3 Episode 10: The Ballad of Betty Lou

  Rob and Jerry buy a sailboat.

• Season 3 Episode 9: Big Max Calvada

  An underworld figure involves Rob, Sally and Buddy in an unusual writing assignment.

• Season 3 Episode 8: Uncle George

  Rob's Uncle George arrives in town and asks his nephew to find him a wife.

• Season 3 Episode 7: Who and Where Was Antonio Stradivarius?

  Rob finds himself at a party in a strange town, dancing with a young woman.

• Season 3 Episode 6: Too Many Stars

  As usual, Rob finds he has too many 'stars' on his hands when he tries to direct this year's show for the Parent Council.

• Season 3 Episode 5: All About Eavesdropping

  Rob and Laura listen in on the Helpers' conversation over Richie's toy intercom : and they don't like what they hear

• Season 3 Episode 4: Very Old Shoes, Very Old Rice

  Rob and Laura, having learned they are not legally married, make plans to elope.

• Season 3 Episode 3: Laura's Little Lie

  Laura admits to Rob that she lied about her age on their marriage licence : was their commitment ever legal? Classic comedy, also featuring Mary Tyler Moore and Rose Marie

• Season 3 Episode 2: The Masterpiece

  Rob and Laura return home from an auction with two mysterious pieces of art.

• Season 3 Episode 1: That's My Boy?

  Rob reminisces about the days following Richie's birth, during which he convinced himself that the hospital had given them the wrong baby. Vintage comedy series, also starring Mary Tyler Moore

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 2 (1962 - 1963)

• Season 2 Episode 32: When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen

  Rob finds himself in hot water after inadvertently lifting a comedy idea from another show.

• Season 2 Episode 31: Jilting the Jilter

  Sally gets a marriage proposal from an opportunistic comic (Guy Marks) who wants her to write his material.

• Season 2 Episode 30: A Surprise Surprise Is a Surprise

  Laura despairs when Rob learns of her elaborate plans to throw a surprise party for him.

• Season 2 Episode 29: It's a Shame She Married Me

  Rob suffers pangs of jealousy when Laura meets a successful old flame (Robert Vaughn).

• Season 2 Episode 28: Divorce

  Rob finds himself caught in the middle after Buddy announces he is going to divorce Pickles.

• Season 2 Episode 27: Racy Tracy Rattigan

  A romantic British film star (Richard Dawson) arouses Rob's ire by his attentions to Laura.

• Season 2 Episode 26: I'm No Henry Walden!

  Rob finds himself very out of place at a dinner party for several celebrated literati.

• Season 2 Episode 25: The Square Triangle

  French singing idol Jacques Savon, who has played a curious part in both Rob's and Laura's pasts, suddenly reappears.

• Season 2 Episode 24: The Sam Pomerantz Scandals

  Rob, Laura and the office gang put together a variety show to help an old friend.

• Season 2 Episode 23: Give Me Your Walls

  Rob hires a master painter to do the living room.

• Season 2 Episode 22: Don't Trip Over That Mountain

  Novice skier Rob regrets ignoring Laura's warning.

• Season 2 Episode 21: My Husband Is a Check-Grabber

  Laura tries to break Rob of his expensive habit of picking up the check.

• Season 2 Episode 20: It May Look Like a Walnut

  After watching a late-night TV thriller, Rob has a nightmare about an alien who looks like TV star Danny Thomas

  Next on: Wednesday 29th May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 19: I Was a Teenage Head Writer

  An office crisis sets Rob to reminiscing about his hectic early days as a comedy writer.

  Next on: Tuesday 28th May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 18: Ray Murdock's X-Ray

  Rob unwittingly describes Laura as a 'nut' on TV.

  Next on: Monday 27th May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 17: Will You Two Be My Wife?

  Rob is slapped, kicked and screamed at by the girl he left behind when he entered the Army.

  Next on: Friday 24th May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 16: The Foul Weather Girl

  Laura believes her marriage is threatened by a singing weather girl.

  Next on: Thursday 23rd May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 15: The Cat Burglar

  A phantom burglar pillages the Petrie home and baffles the police.

  Next on: Wednesday 22nd May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 14: Somebody Has to Play Cleopatra

  Director Rob must cast the role of Cleopatra.

  Next on: Tuesday 21st May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 13: A Man's Teeth Are Not His Own

  Rob feels that he has betrayed his dentist friend, Jerry, when he goes to another dentist.

  Next on: Monday 20th May 10:30pm EDT - WJLADT2
• Season 2 Episode 12: Gesundheit Darling

  Rob begins to fear that he is allergic to his own family when proximity to Laura and Ritchie starts him sneezing.

• Season 2 Episode 11: A Bird in the Head Hurts

  Ritchie runs into the house screaming that he has been pecked on the head by a giant woodpecker.

• Season 2 Episode 10: The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally

  Rob suspects co-writers Buddy and Sally of carrying on a clandestine romance.

• Season 2 Episode 9: The Night the Roof Fell In

  A tiring day causes a spat between the Petries.

• Season 2 Episode 8: Like a Sister

  A balladeer brings romance into television comedy writer Sally Rogers' life.

• Season 2 Episode 7: What's in a Middle Name?

  Rob has some explaining to do when son Ritchie discovers his peculiar middle name.

• Season 2 Episode 6: My Husband Is Not a Drunk

  Rob's hypnotic experience results in him acting completely drunk whenever he hears a bell ring

• Season 2 Episode 5: Hustling the Hustler

  Rob has an evening of high adventure with a veteran pool shark who pretends he cannot play the game.

• Season 2 Episode 4: Bank Book 6565696

  Rob learns Laura has a secret bank account.

• Season 2 Episode 3: The Attempted Marriage

  Rob recalls how he arrived battered, bruised and three hours late for his wedding

• Season 2 Episode 2: The Two Faces of Rob

  To prove that a wife cannot always recognize her husband on the phone, Rob disguises his voice and calls Laura.

• Season 2 Episode 1: Never Name a Duck

  When one of Ritchie's two pet ducks dies, it seems as if the Petrie family has lost one of its human members.

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 1 (1961 - 1962)

• Season 1 Episode 30: The Return of Happy Spangler

  Rob tries to help an old radio comedy writer make a comeback.

• Season 1 Episode 29: Sol and the Sponsor

  A dinner party for Rob's television sponsor and his wife is enlivened by the arrival of one of Rob's Army buddies.

• Season 1 Episode 28: The Bad Old Days

  Buddy convinces Rob that he and all other American husbands are being dominated by women.

• Season 1 Episode 27: The Sleeping Brother

  Rob's brother (Jerry Van Dyke) auditions for the show while awake.

• Season 1 Episode 26: I Am My Brother's Keeper

  Rob's bashful brother arrives in town and proves to be confident and outgoing only when he is sleepwalking.

• Season 1 Episode 25: Where You Been, Fassbinder?

  Romance enters Sally's life in the form of an insurance salesman named Leo Fassbinder.

• Season 1 Episode 24: One Angry Man

  While serving jury duty, Rob finds himself siding with the female defendant.

• Season 1 Episode 23: The Twizzle

  Sally drags the entire production staff to a bowling alley, where she unveils a new dance and a new song.

• Season 1 Episode 22: Father of the Week

  Rob's paternal pride suffers a cruel shock when he finds out his 6-year-old son is ashamed of him.

• Season 1 Episode 21: The Boarder Incident

  While his wife is away, Buddy accepts Rob's invitation to move in as a house guest.

• Season 1 Episode 20: A Word a Day

  Ritchie's expanding vocabulary starts to branch out in unexpected directions.

• Season 1 Episode 19: The Talented Neighborhood

  When his show announces a talent contest, Rob finds himself besieged by the parents of neighborhood prodigies.

• Season 1 Episode 18: Who Owes Who What?

  For Rob, a forgotten loan turns into a forgotten debt and a television script.

• Season 1 Episode 17: Punch Thy Neighbor

  Rob's pal Jerry strains their friendship when he starts knocking Rob's television show in public.

• Season 1 Episode 16: The Curious Thing About Women

  Laura's curiosity gets the better of her when she decides to open a parcel addressed to Rob, but her enthusiasm soon wanes when she finds what's inside

• Season 1 Episode 15: Where Did I Come From?

  Rob recalls how Laura arrived at the maternity ward in a laundry truck as he reminisces about her final frantic days of pregnancy

• Season 1 Episode 14: Buddy, Can You Spare a Job?

  After Buddy quits his job for another that falls through, Rob and Sally conspire to get his old job back.

• Season 1 Episode 13: Sally Is a Girl

  Rob is accused of being a Don Juan when he takes his wife's advice and stops treating Sally as one of the boys.

• Season 1 Episode 12: Empress Carlotta's Necklace

  Rob proudly presents Laura with a huge, horrible necklace, but she can't bring herself to tell him it is ugly.

• Season 1 Episode 11: Forty-Four Tickets

  Rob invites 44 fellow PTA members to his television show, but forgets all about them until the programme is about to air

• Season 1 Episode 10: The Meershatz Pipe

  Rob fears he is no longer needed when his co-writers turn out a show without his help.

• Season 1 Episode 9: The Unwelcome House Guest

  Rob agrees to care for Buddy's dog for a weekend.

• Season 1 Episode 8: To Tell or Not to Tell

  Rob and Ritchie find themselves more than a little lost when Laura briefly resumes her dancing career.

• Season 1 Episode 7: Jealousy!

  Laura begins to worry when Rob has to work nights with a beautiful TV star.

• Season 1 Episode 6: Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, Mo.

  Rob invites an old Army pal home and begins to fear he is a jewel thief.

• Season 1 Episode 5: Oh How We Met the Night That We Danced

  While rummaging through Rob's old Army equipment, Rob and Laura recall how he broke her foot.

• Season 1 Episode 4: Washington vs. the Bunny

  Rob is determined to go on a business trip even though Laura wants him to stay.

• Season 1 Episode 3: Sally and the Lab Technician

  Laura matches her cousin Thomas with Rob's co-writer, Sally, for a dinner party.

• Season 1 Episode 2: My Blonde-Haired Brunette

  Laura dyes her hair blonde in an attempt to win Rob's affections and recapture the magic she feels has faded from her marriage

• Season 1 Episode 1: The Sick Boy and the Sitter

  Rob persuades Laura to attend a party at Alan Brady's penthouse, despite her desire to stay at home with her sick five-year-old