Wednesday, May 9

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 10pm, CBS
When three dead bodies turn up a few blocks from a campaign dinner, the team makes a shocking discovery.

Thursday, May 10

The Big Bang Theory, 8pm, CBS
The gang tries to help Wolowitz and Bernadette get married before the space launch.

The Vampire Diaries, 8pm, The CW
Jeremy makes a life-changing decision in hope of protecting his sister; Stefan and Damon team up for a mission outside of Mystic Falls; Bonnie makes a covert, heartbreaking deal.

The Secret Circle, 9pm, The CW
With Faye's life in danger in the hands of the witch-hunters, it is left to the rest of the coven to save her. Blackwell encourages them to use their Balcoin blood and dark magic, but first Cassie must persuade a reluctant Diana to unleash to Crystal Skull. Meanwhile, Dawn and Charles discover a way to regain their magical powers - but at great cost.

The Office, 9pm, NBC
A former boss helps Andy go under cover and stage a coup; a new opportunity arises for Robert.

Parks & Recreation, 9:30pm, NBC
Leslie and Bobby Newport (Paul Rudd) are separated by a miniscule margin on Election Day; as everyone waits for election results, they ponder the future.

Friday, May 11

Undercover Boss, 8pm, CBS
MasTec CEO Jose Mas goes under cover and receives an explosive surprise.

The Finder, 8pm, FOX
Walter's dying father asks him to find his first love, Walter's mother; Uncle Shadrack continues to force marriage on Timo and Willa.

CSI: NY, 9pm, CBS
Mac fights for his life after being shot, and the team tries to bring the person responsible to justice.

Fringe, 9pm, FOX
Part two of two. The team attempts to stop a catastrophic event that threatens the lives of everyone. Drama, starring Anna Torv and Joshua Jackson

Blue Bloods, 10pm, CBS
The Reagans prepare to mark Mother's Day, a holiday that holds particular significance for them - but Frank struggles to focus on his family's needs as he tries to prevent a biological weapon attack on New York City. Meanwhile, a long-standing conflict between Danny and Jamie finally boils over.

Sunday, May 13

Once Upon a Time, 8pm, ABC
Emma and Regina work together to save Henry's life; Prince Charming tries to escape from the Evil Queen and reunite with Snow White.

Survivor, 8pm, CBS
The winner is announced.

Desperate Housewives, 9pm, ABC - LAST EVER EPISODE!
Trip pleads with Bree to tell him about the night of Alejandro's murder; Susan tries to keep the sale of her house private until she can tell her friends; Katherine Mayfair returns with a job opportunity for Lynette.

American Dad, 9:30pm, FOX
Stan takes Steve to Mexico to help him become a man, but when they are kidnapped by a drug cartel, it is up to Steve to break them out.

Khloe & Lamar, 10pm, E!
Khloe is urged to take a DNA test to prove her paternity; Lamar lets out his emotions.

Monday, May 14

How I Met Your Mother, 8pm, CBS - Double Bill
Lily goes into labor while Marshall and Barney are in Atlantic City; Robin and Ted try to distract Lily from her labor pains.

Gossip Girl, 8pm, The CW
Blair is targeted by Gossip Girl, forcing Serena to make a confession; Nate asks Lola to move in with him; Lily makes a decision about her marriage; Blair makes a choice between Dan and Chuck.

Bones, 8pm, FOX
When a past suspect is back in court on appeal, Booth and Brennan work to prove he is guilty once and for all; Brennan becomes a suspect.

Two and a Half Men, 9pm, CBS
Jake is pressured to make an important decision about his future after graduating from high school.

Hart of Dixie, 9pm, The CW
As Bluebell braces for an impending storm, Lemon and George get ready for their wedding day; Zoe is stranded in a barn with Wade.

Make It or Break It, 9pm, ABC Family
Lauren battles to qualify for the Olympic team; Payson changes her routine; Kaylie receives bad news regarding her blood test.

Mike & Molly, 9:30pm, CBS
Mike and Molly come across speed bumps as they try to tie the knot.

Hawaii Five-0, 10pm, CBS
The team goes on a manhunt when one of its own is killed; a team member must choose which one of their kidnapped loved ones will survive.

Smash, 10pm, NBC
As Tom and Julia work to save the show, Derek makes a decision that permanently changes Karen's and Ivy's lives; Ellis' true colors are revealed.

Tuesday, May 15

Cougar Town, 8pm, ABC - Double Bill
After Grayson's house sustains hurricane damage, he moves in with Jules; Laurie and Ellie ask Travis to help determine which of them is sexier; Bobby and Jules compete in a 'white shirt challenge.'

NCIS, 8pm, CBS
Shaken by terrorism, the NCIS faces devastating surprises; the case impacts Jimmy Palmer's destination wedding.

90210, 8pm, The CW
Naomi announces her decision to accept a job in New York; Teddy returns; Dixon tries to save his relationship with Adrianna; Silver must choose between Liam and Navid.

NCIS: Los Angeles, 9pm, CBS
Callen and the team pursue a criminal mastermind motivated by revenge.

Fashion Star, 10pm, NBC
The three remaining contestants must create a showcase for each of the retailers; the winner is chosen.

Dream Machines, 10pm, SyFy
The brothers are asked to build a concept vehicle based on an alien from the film 'Battleship.'

Private Practice, 10pm, ABC
The Seaside doctors go to Amelia's side as she begins labor; Pete and Violet realize how they feel about each other; Addison must make a decision.

Wednesday, May 16

Suburgatory, 8:30pm, ABC
Tessa feels a void as Chatswin celebrates mothers; Dalia goes to Israel without Dallas; Eden reacts to a baby shower's theme; Fred arranges a surprise for Sheila; Lisa makes a discovery.

Criminal Minds, 9pm, CBS
When the BAU is called to negotiate a situation at a federal bank, one of their own becomes a hostage; Prentiss says goodbye.

Ghost Hunters, 9pm, SyFy
The team says farewell to their mentor, leader, and co-founder after his last investigation with TAPS.

Thursday, May 17

Missing, 8pm, ABC
In a last-ditch effort to save her son, Becca faces her inner demons; Suspect Zero tries to finish his sale.

Rules of Engagement, 8:30pm, CBS
Jen puts the wrong date on the invitations to Audrey's baby shower; Jeff likes Audrey's maternity clothes; Russell gives up women.

30 Rock, 8:30pm, NBC
Jack asks Liz to officiate his and Avery's vow renewal; Criss tries to prove his worth to Liz; Tracy meets with Cornel West.

Grey's Anatomy, 9pm, ABC
A dangerous situation leaves the doctors fighting to stay alive while trying to save their peers; Ben and Bailey make a decision; Teddy gets a tempting offer; Richard plans a dinner for the residents.

Person of Interest, 9pm, CBS
Reese becomes trapped with his POI in a heavily surveilled part of the city and must rely on Finch, Carter and Fusco's help.

The Mentalist, 10pm, CBS
A message from Red John causes Jane to lose focus on a current investigation, putting his career in jeopardy.

Scandal, 10pm, ABC
Olivia and the team rally when Quinn finds herself in a tragic situation; Cyrus turns to Olivia when an announcement affects Fitz's presidency.

Friday, May 18

Shark Tank, 8pm, ABC
The sharks fight for a chance to go into business with an inventor; two fitness trainers pitch their idea for a unique home gym; a young man seeks an investment in his age-defying products.

Nikita, 8pm, The CW
Michael and Nikita infiltrate Division in hope of capturing Percy; Sean and Alex are caught in a gunfire battle; Birkhoff seeks help from Sonya.

Who Do You Think You Are? 8pm, NBC
Chef Paula Deen investigates her family history and learns about an event that affected her ancestors during the Civil War.

Supernatural, 9pm, The CW
Sam and Dean team up with Castiel, Meg and Bobby as they prepare to battle Dick Roman.

Grimm, 9pm, NBC
A trail of murders reignites Nick's search for the gold coins; a mysterious woman in black starts to interfere with Nick and Hank's investigation; Nick's relationship with Juliette reaches a crossroads.

Sunday, May 20

Harry's Law, 8pm, NBC
When Harry's ex-husband is found dead and no one claims the body, Harry is forced to plan his funeral; Oliver wants Cassie to help represent a law student suing a school that denied her admission; Adam and Phoebe battle in court.

The Celebrity Apprentice, 9pm, NBC
The two finalists must work together on a charity event featuring 10 celebrity performances; the winner is chosen.

Sherlock, 9pm, PBS
The Tower of London, Pentonville Prison and the Bank of England are all broken into on the same day - and yet nothing is stolen. Moriarty emerges as the culprit, and goes to trial for his crimes. However, the legal battle sets in motion a scheme through which the criminal mastermind plans to destroy his old foe Sherlock, whose loyalty and courage are tested to the limits as he fights for his reputation, his sanity and his life.

Monday, May 21

House, 9pm, FOX
The team suspects a college student is suffering from schizophrenia when he suffers a series of mysterious nosebleeds, and claims that he hears his dead brother's voice appear to confirm suspicions. Meanwhile, Foreman adopts a new approach to deal with House.

Tuesday, May 22

Dancing With the Stars, 9pm, ABC
The winner is announced.

Glee, 9pm, FOX
The members of New Directions contemplate their futures as graduation day arrives, and some students prepare to bid farewell to McKinley High, including Rachel, who sets her sights on making her New York dreams come true.

Wednesday, May 23

American Idol, 8pm, FOX

The Middle, 8pm, ABC

Modern Family, 9pm, ABC

Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23, 9:30pm, ABC

Revenge, 10pm, ABC

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 10pm, NBC

Thursday, May 29

L.A. Complex, 9pm, The CW

Wednesday, May 30

America's Next Top Model, 9pm, The CW

Thursday, May 31

Touch, 8pm, FOX

It's taken over four years and five films in order for us to get here but at long last the Avengers have assembled! In what is perhaps the most audacious gambit in cinematic history, Marvel Studios have taken four different film series with four different continuities and brought them all into one shared universe, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Returning to their previous roles are Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, Chris Evans as Captain America, Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye, Tom Hiddleston as Loki, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury and reintroducing the Hulk, now played by Academy Award Nominee Mark Ruffalo .

Still reeling after his defeat in last year's Thor, Loki gets his hands on the Tesseract (the glowing cube from CA: TFA) and plans on using it to take over the world by opening a portal to bring in his alien army. Dangerously outmatched, Fury restarts the previously decommissioned Avengers Initiative which assembles Earth's "Mightiest Heroes" into the planet's last hope.

Avengers is well worth the wait as everything about the film is fantastic. Thankfully the storyline is nice and simple which allows the filmmakers to focus on the important scenes that we all paid our money to see: the Avengers interacting with one another. The dialogue is crisp and at times hilarious, with Downey bringing the majority of the laughs as the ever lovable Tony Stark. Writer/ Director Joss Whedon was faced with a titan task of bringing so many big personalities together but he does it beautifully with each character getting their own scenes and focus, with only Thor feeling a little bit shortchanged by the ending credits.

The actors really bring their best with Hiddleston really outdoing everyone in what is perhaps the best performance of his career (there is a particular scene with Black Widow that is worth mentioning) and an impressively strong start from Mark Ruffalo taking over the Hulk role. There is a real sense that these actors fully inhabit their roles and bring their characters to life, none more so than fan-favourite Robert Downey Jr. The post-converted 3D is just as good as post-converted 3D can get and the musical score by Alan Silvestri is beautifully fitting.

Without going into spoiler territory I will happily say that there were lots of little points that I especially loved, for example seeing how Tony Stark's relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts has progressed since Iron Man 2, plus seeing how the government reacted to the events in Thor and the revelations of the other realms. Whilst it may not be 100% necessary to have watched the previous films (every character does have a brief explanation of their origin at some point), it would certainly help you to enjoy the finer points of the series such as the passing references or obscure jokes.

It is worth mentioning that Avengers definitely deserves its 12A rating due to the frequent fantasy violence resulting in the huge finale, but arguably this film contains nothing strictly inappropriate for a child that has enjoyed the previous Marvel films. However I would recommend caution with a more sensitive child as the Hulk is deservedly a lot scarier in this film.

Ultimately this film is the film of the decade for the fans; it was inevitable that they were going to love this film regardless of its quality but the fact that Avengers is also a great film, only makes the experience even more ground-breaking than it already is. I cannot say enough nice things about Avengers.

Oh and make sure you stick around for the mid-credits scenes, you know what Marvel are like…

Last night Battleship opened at cinemas across the UK. The movie as a whole didn't really appeal to me with the trailer, but with it being Rihanna's debut acting appearance in a blockbuster movie, I was slightly intrigued with how she would be portrayed, especially as she has received criticism for her raunchy outfits, dance moves and explicit song lyrics. Would she be cast as the sex symbol throughout? So with it being Orange Wednesdays in the UK...off to the cinema I went.

Was Rihanna's character just another version of how she is portrayed in the media? The answer was no - in comparison to other action films, such as Transformers, that have rather a large amount of emphasis on the sex appeal of the female starlet, Battleship did not have slow-motion running from an explosion that just so happened to feature a hot, sexy female wearing hardly any clothes. Rihanna's character, Petty Officer Cora Raikes remains in her Navy uniform throughout and is so far removed from 'Rihanna' - even after she get her ass kicked by some alien. Although it wasn't a serious film, the fact that it was more about killing the aliens rather than semi-clad women, was to its advantage. There is this one scene with Taylor Kitsch, and he looked beautiful - just saying.

Going back to the film in question... What is it all about? Taylor Kitsch stars as Alex Hopper, a guy who is a bit of a waste of space who is forced into the Navy by his older brother (Alexander Skarsgard) and for other reasons I do not wish to disclose as it could potentially ruin the plot (or not...). Fast forward time and Alex is a Lieutenant in the Navy; he and his fellow personnel are taking part in a training exercise with a Japanese fleet. Aliens crash land into the Pacific, just where the training exercise is taking place, who then surround the area with a non-penetrable force that stops anyone going in or out, including communication. So it's up to Alex and his brother to save the day.

I am slightly biased in that I love a good action film, where things get blown up and the effects look realistic, even if the story line is so far removed from reality. I think it's definitely worth watching, especially at a cinema to really take advantage of the battle scenes. But just a warning though, it is VERY loosely based on the board game - and this has been admitted by the movie's creators, so bare this in mind before getting angry.

Go watch it!

The imminent completion of the digital switchover has left me feeling rather concerned for those as easily confused as myself. Not a large percentage of the population, I'd wager. You see, there seems to be an abundance of quirkily named television channels on Freeview these days. You have Dave, Really, Watch and Yesterday, to name but a few.

Forgive me for sounding nostalgic, however I must admit I miss the numeric system of days gone by. When the channels were innocently known as 1-5, it was simple, there were no pretention in the days prior to the executive spoon-feeding we're subjected to nowadays. It was comforting: 1) for Eastenders, 2) for the dulcet tones of John Virgo describing the snooker, 3) for Mandy Dingle laughing at people falling over at weddings, 4) for 'subversive' documentaries, or Hollyoaks, if that's how you chose to live your life, and 5) for grainy images of Czech ice hockey at prime time.

I, for one, would prefer the new digital channels to be known simply by numbers. Choosing your evening's viewing could be a lucky dip, like storming into your local Chinese takeaway and bellowing "Number 64" at the confused vendor. Sure, you'd end up with your fair share of repulsive jellied sea urchins, but occasionally you'd stumble upon a thoroughly enjoyable chow mein.

I guess the controllers are attempting to capture the entire content of the channel listings in one word, in the same vein my GCSE maths teacher once summed up my entire homework project as "CONFUSED." It can work well - in the case of 'Really' it is entirely fitting - as it's precisely what I turn to my girlfriend and ask as she settles down to indulge in the seventh consecutive Ten Years Younger episode. If this technique were to be used for television shows as well, I can only assume that Take Me Out would be renamed 'You'll Recoil in Disdain'.

Another curious channel name is Dave, formerly known as UKTV G2, which was much catchier in my opinion. It sounded like an explosive. It was said at the time of the change that everybody knows a bloke called Dave, people can relate to him, and I guess Dave is blokey, full of banter and warm, all of which indicated a wise choice of moniker. Well let me inform you something. I have a friend called Dave (doesn't everyone?) And he certainly isn't the the type of character you'd let on telly.

Last week, without the assistance of Marty McFly, I miraculously managed to flick over on time for a documentary on Yesterday, which was brilliantly advertised as: "Jack the Ripper: Prime Suspect, on tomorrow at 9, on Yesterday." Now that's just ridiculously baffling. I believe that if we brought back the 90's numeric system, the advert would have been: "Tune in to channel 12 tomorrow at 9pm to watch 'FBI trained experts' squander valuable time and resources attempting to solve a 120 year old case - in which all involved parties are long dead - by consulting a semi-interested man from Hull and a group of educated individuals called 'Ripperologists'. Thinking about it, had that been the 30 second sales pitch, I wouldn't watched it at all. I would have sat with my questionable Chinese meal and Googled undergraduate degree courses in Ripperology.

I guess we can chalk that one up as a victory for the digital TV Executives.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is a 2012 American action/horror film based on the Marvel comic book character of the same name and serves as a sequel/reboot to 2007's Ghost Rider. Nicolas Cage reprises his role as Johnny Blaze, the titular anti-hero, and the duo of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (Crank) take over directing duties. Idris Elba (The Wire), Johnny Whitworth (3:10 to Yuma), Christopher Lambert (Highlander) and Ciarán Hinds (HBO’s Rome) round off the cast with a script by David S. Goyer (Batman Begins).

Being placed under the 'Marvel Knights' banner seems to be a bad luck omen as Marvel's last darker attempt in Punisher: War Zone led to very little financial success but garnered a dedicated cult following. Will Spirit of Vengeance suffer the fate?

SOV is one of those films where you just have to throw away everything you know about films and just sit back and enjoy the ride (pun intended). The plot is as simple as can be: the Devil is trying to imbue the Anti-Christ with all of his power (for some kind of world-domination scheme, I imagine) so a secret church sect hires Johnny Blaze to stop him; and whilst there are a few complications created by Elba's alcoholic French monk, Moreau and Whitworth's evolution from human mercenary to super villain Blackout, the events still follow the predicable and obvious route.

Neveldine and Taylor have such a distinct style that they have a very polarising effect on audiences, either loving their over-saturated avant-garde style or hating their composition-less, handheld, shaky camera technique. In truth, their direction comes across as schizophrenic or 'different for the sake of being different', as in one scene you'll notice faint whiffs of Gasper Noe or Shinya Tsukamoto but in other scenes, Michael Bay or Joel Schumacher. Be prepared for their fast-paced, ridiculous, in-your-face way of doing things or else you will be lost very early on in the film, because that's what Neveldine and Taylor do, rather than provide you with a show they provide you with an experience.

Interestingly enough, there are two fantastic animated segments used in the film to present backstory in an interesting manner which makes good use of 2D animation, as well as providing a cheeky cameo for the film makers. The music is as loud and violent as the film itself and SOV contains possibly the best post-converted 3D that I have ever seen.

The acting is a mixed bag with Cage utilising his usual brand of loony, ADHD otherworldliness and Hinds focusing all of his inner panto spirit into his constantly grimacing Devil. Whitworth makes for an adequate one-dimensional mercenary but his terrible Blackout make-up ruins any chance of taking his super villain seriously. Relative newcomer Fergus Riordan (Fragile) makes a reasonable effort as the Antichrist plot device Danny and forms a semi-believable relationship with his on-screen mother Nadya, portrayed by singer/songwriter Violante Placido (The American). British TV actors Anthony Head (Buffy, Merlin) and Vincent Regan (300) turn up for tiny appearances whilst Lambert gets an extended guest role which would really not be worth talking about if it were not for a visually glorious action piece with Whitworth's Blackout.

Being a fan of the comic books, I thought it was great that they decided to include Zarathos (nerd points) into the film's mythology but I was a little disappointed that they never strictly confirm whether Danny is Johnny Blaze's successor Danny Ketch or not.

Although Spirit of Vengeance is doomed to critical and commercial failure, I predict that time will be kinder to this 'requel' and that if you do enjoy the film then be rest assured; there are plenty of others just like you. In summary, a fantastic 3D romp for anyone looking for a good time without any hint of seriousness.

The Darkest Hour is a 2012 American Sci-Fi horror film directed by former Art Director Chris Gorak (Right At Your Door) and follows two software developers as they try to survive an alien invasion. Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) and Max Minghella (The Social Network) star as the software developers with Olivia Thirlby (Juno) and Rachael Taylor (Transformers) starring as two young love interests and Joel Kinnaman (The Killing) as a crafty antagonistic Swedish businessman.

It's hard to know where to start with The Darkest Hour as even the film itself does not know where to start. We are initially introduced to Minghella as the main character, with Thirlby as his love interest, as he arrives in Moscow to sell some social networking software to some Russian businessmen that is already being sold to them by Kinnaman (not sure how that works).

Having just travelled halfway across the world and walked straight into the businessmen's boardroom without being interrupted or receiving any prior knowledge or warming about what Kinnaman was up to, Minghella and Hirsch decide to drown their sorrows at a bar where they (completely coincidentally) manage to run into Kinnaman who is chatting up the girl that (completely coincidentally) they were interested in. Mere moments later, two young tourists arrive after contacting Minghella via his social network software and following some awkward pleasantries, are forced to band together with the developers as Moscow falls under siege from invisible human-vaporising aliens. After a few days hiding in a basement, the group (coincidentally now joined by Kinnaman) begin their journey of looking for survivors in an adventure that include hiding under cars, looting clothes shops, impossibly well-prepared Russian scientists, a tribe of armed resistance fighters and a submarine.

This may sound simple enough but The Darkest Hour is bizarrely inconsistent, both when it comes to how the aliens work and when it comes to the how the humans act. After the first half hour Hirsch becomes the main character and suddenly Thirlby becomes his love counterpart whilst Taylor who was previously teased as being attracted to Hirsch has now lost complete interest in him.

The previously cowardly Kinnaman is also the only character to nominate himself to be left alone and even then runs straight into the face of danger whilst Taylor is the most Australian sounding American, I've ever seen… or heard. Characters also have a bizarre talent of being able to teleport themselves over great distances almost instantly, especially in a scene where Hirsch and Thirlby are dumped into the river and whilst Hirsch manages to swim towards their target, Thirlby managed to –completely unseen – get out of the water, head away from their destination which was within yelling distance, run into the city, fire a warning flare and build a shielded compartment in a disused coach all within a matter of minutes. Yet when the main cast stay hidden in a basement for five days, both their hair and clothing stay in the exact same condition.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with the safe direction, the dialogue is surprising bland and uninspiring considering it comes from the writer of Prometheus (the Alien prequel out later this year), and Tyler Bates continues his hit-and-miss career with a rather boring soundtrack. The Darkest Hour also holds the claim to the most pointlessly use of 3D in 2012 thus far, a record that it stands to maintain for quite a while.

On a brighter note, there are several elements that Darkest Hour gets right, one of which is the most important part of the film: the aliens. It is hardly unforgivable to consider the concept of invisible aliens as lazy or cheap, but the lack of visual reference really enhances the tension and poses a serious threat. The florescent orange glow giving off by the aliens and their orange lasso-like tendrils add a great deal of colour, warmth and clarity to the darker scenes and creates a very visually interesting dynamic to the aliens. Their primary form of attack is a phenomenal vaporisation technique that looks amazing as long as you forget that it has been completely lifted from 2006's X-men: The Last Stand. Sadly it's not all good news though, as there are some discrepancies and plot holes that distract greatly from their appeal: when you actually get to see the creatures they are a boring brown colour and disappointingly look like a horrible CGI accident between the Super 8 monster and Doc Ock's tentacles from Spider-Man 2; they are portrayed floating yet one had to ability to crush a car by walking over it; they can only see electrical impulses yet when they set off electrical devices these remain completely unseen in their vision; perhaps I missed it by why exactly are they damaged by microwaves; and these creatures are hunting for metal so why hide inside a massive submarine?

Moving away from the plot hole-ridden aliens, the other element that the film got spot on was the Mad Max-style society of 'armoured' Russian resistance fighters, complete with flamethrowers and an 'armoured' horse. These characters were interesting, exciting and contained the potential for a far more emotional and intelligent storyline. Had the story focused on the young Russian survivor Vika, portrayed by Veronika Ozerova, discovering this post-apocalyptic tribe then The Darkest Hour might stand as I film that I could recommend but as it stands, that is not so much the case.

Ultimately The Darkest Hour has some genuinely good ideas but fails to execute them properly from a lack of creative storytelling to unlikable characters to a complete missed opportunity with some potentially exciting aliens. If you have to watch The Darkest Hour then don't bother watching in 3D and if you end up missing it, then that's no real loss at all. Or better yet, just sit in a room, turn off all the lights and enjoy your own darkest hour – at least the dialogue would be better.

Two and a Half Men's Angus T. Jones/CBS photo

The winter Television Critics Association "press tour" remains fresh in the memory while your dogged correspondent is in the final throes of toweling off. Here are some tasty leftover nuggets from Pasadena, all of them generated by locatetv.com questions in various hotel ballroom settings.

*****Angus T. Jones, still the half-man of CBS' Two and a Half Men, was just nine years old when the show started. His Jake Harper is now a lippy teen, but Angus remains pretty mum about all the Charlie Sheen-spiked drama of the past year.

"Just in the interests of including you . . . what are your thoughts about all that's gone on with the show?" he's asked.

"I mean, my thoughts, I'm just really along for the ride," Angus replies with some discomfort. "I don't know. I try not to worry about it too much -- like if worrying would be an issue.  I just go to high school, do normal things. It's a job."

OK then. But no fair writing a tell-all book down the road if times get tough as an adult.

***** Cheech Marin, forever famous as an integral part of the Cheech & Chong pot-smoking duo, is now playing Rob Schneider's conservative, car wash-owning father-in-law on the new CBS sitcom Rob. In fact, the character's views on immigration are to the right of Michele Bachmann's. He advocates cannons along the border. Anything for a laugh.

"Many Mexican-Americans are conservative," Marin says. "I mean, he's kind of in the Archie Bunker range, and that's exactly how I wanted to play him. He's not a bleeding heart liberal. He's a hard-nosed businessman."

"The idea that Hispanic people just have to be all liberal is not true," Schneider chimes in. He's "shocked," for instance, that many of the major supporters of Arizona's restrictive "racist" immigration law are Hispanics.

"All of the Texas Mexicans are all Republicans, man," Marin adds. "That's really what shocked me."

*****Primo producer J.J. Abrams' new Fox series, Alcatraz, is centered on the mysterious disappearance of 302 inmates and their guards just before the famed island prison closed down in 1963. They then reappear in present times, with further foul play on their agendas.

Alas, two of Alcatraz's most famous inmates, Al Capone and Robert "The Birdman" Stroud, were transferred out before the 1960s. Still, this is a J.J. Abrams series. So anything's possible from the mind behind Lost and Fringe. Right?

"Well, it's definitely a bummer that they weren't there to be time-traveled," Abrams says. "I mean, that really is unequivocal for us. But having said that, who's to say we can't flash back a little bit further? And that would be fun to do."

Co-executive producer Jack Bender notes that the show tries to tell the back stories of various featured prisoners. "And we've often made jokes about going by the cell of a guy who has 400 parakeets in a cage. But we haven't done that yet."

*****Season 6 of Showtime's Dexter brought Debra Morgan closer than ever to her adopted brother -- and the show's serial-killing title character. They're not genetically related, so any romantic entanglement next season wouldn't be strictly taboo.

But in real life, Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall met on the show, got married and then were very messily divorced. So it seems fair to ask the network's entertainment president, David Nevins, whether this particularly touchy plot development had to be OK'd by both actors. "It's got to be a little difficult," he's told.

"It makes for an interesting ripple in the show," Nevins says. "But we do have conversations. When you have actors like Michael and Jennifer . . . they know what's going on. Michael and Jennifer have a very good relationship, so it's quite comfortable. But that has been a conversation, and will continue to be a conversation."

And oh to be a fly on the wall.

Best actress in a supporting role

• Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
• Jessica Chastain, The Help
• Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
• Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
• Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best actor in a supporting role

• Kenneth Branagh, My Week with Marilyn
• Jonah Hill, Moneyball
• Nick Nolte, Warrior
• Christopher Plummer, Beginners
• Max Von Sydow, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Best actress in a leading role

• Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
• Viola Davis, The Help
• Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
• Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
• Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Best actor in a leading role

• Demián Bichir, A Better Life
• George Clooney, The Descendants
• Jean Dujardin, The Artist
• Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
• Brad Pitt, Moneyball

Best director

• Michel Hazavanicius, The Artist
• Alexander Payne, The Descendants
• Martin Scorsese, Hugo
• Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
• Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

Best original Screenplay

• The Artist
• Bridesmaids
• Margin Call
• Midnight in Paris
• A Separation

Best adapted screenplay

• The Descendants
• Hugo
• Ides of March
• Moneyball
• Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best foreign language film

• Bullhead
• Footnote
• In Darkness
• Monsieur Lazhar
• A Separation

Best animated film

• A Cat in Paris
• Chico And Rita
• Kung Fu Panda 2
• Rango
• Puss in Boots

Best picture

• War Horse
• The Artist
• Moneyball
• The Descendants
• The Tree of Life
• Midnight in Paris
• The Help
• Hugo
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Art direction

• The Artist
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
• Hugo
• Midnight in Paris
• War Horse

Cinematography

• The Artist
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
• Hugo
• The Tree of Life
• War Horse

Costume design

• Anonymous
• The Artist
• Hugo
• Jane Eyre
• W.E.

Documentary feature

• Hell and Back Again
• If A Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
• Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
• Pina
• Undefeated

Documentary short subject

• The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
• God is the Bigger Elvis
• Incident in New Baghdad
• Saving Face
• The Tsumani and the Cherry Blossom

Film editing

• The Artist
• The Descendants
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
• Hugo
• Moneyball

Make up

• Albert Nobbs
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
• The Iron Lady

Music (original score)

• The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn
• The Artist
• Hugo
• Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
• War Horse

Music (original song)

• The Muppets
• Rio

Short film (animated)

• Dimanche / Sunday
• The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore
• La Luna
• A Morning Stroll
• Wild Life

Short film (live action)

• Pentecost
• Raju
• The Shore
• Time Freak
• Tuba Atlantic

Sound editing

• Drive
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
• Hugo
• Transformers: Dark of the Moon
• War Horse

Sound mixing

• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
• Hugo
• Moneyball
• Transformers: Dark of the Moon
• War Horse

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

No surprise here really! The final Harry Potter film hit the big screen worldwide in July grossing a massive $1,323,111,219 - that number is phenomenal! The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 ranked third in 2010, behind Toy Story 3 and Alice in Wonderland. Regardless, Harry Potter is currently the highest grossing franchise of all time mainly thanks to the huge success of DH: Part 2, with James Bond coming second (and I'm sure JB will rank first in a few years time when a few more movies are released).

2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The third instalment of Transformers grossed an impressive $1,123,746,996 - impressive because it wasn't that good! I loved Transformers 1 & 2, but the story line in the third movie was pretty weak. The Transformers franchise currently ranks seventh in the highest-grossing franchise list with DOTM being the highest grossing movie out of the three.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

The fourth Pirates film grossed $1,043,871,802 at the box office and is the 8th highest grossing film of all time (Dead Man's Chest is number 6). I am yet to see this film, but it's in my Picks so hopefully it'll be on TV soon...I have heard good things about it. The fifth instalment of POTC is expected to be released in the summer of 2013.

4. Kung Fu Panda 2

Jack Black was back with the second instalment from the Kung Fu Panda series, grossing $665,692,281 worldwide. Haven't seen this one yet, but if it's as funny and entertaining as the first film, I'm sure I'll love it. It is the highest-grossing animated film of 2011.

5. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

I'm quite surprised that Breaking Dawn Part 1 is fifth on this list. I expected it to rank slightly higher, but I suppose the previous four films are for all ages, whereas Twihards fit a certain demographic. This film grossed $659,523,854 - less than New Moon and Eclipse. Personally I thought it was the best movie out of them all...

6. Fast Five

Anything with Paul Walker in it is a winner in my eyes, but bringing back the original team from The Fast and the Furious = immense. Also I loved the twist right at the end, after all the credits had rolled. Fast Five grossed $626,137,675 worldwide. It's the highest grossing movie of the franchise so far... so far as Fast & Furious 6 is due to be released in 2013.

7. The Hangover Part II

The Wolfpack was back! Although not as original or unique as the first movie (but c'mon, let's be honest - how could it be!?), it was still hilariously cringeworthy. This time the 'pack' was joined by Stu's future brother-in-law Teddy for the wild and temporarily forgettable night out. If you haven't seen it, why not!? The movie grossed $581,464,305 worldwide.

8. The Smurfs

I loved The Smurfs a child - I even had the album on cassette - yes cassette! Some time in the early 90s.... So you'd think that I would've rushed to the cinema to watch it, right? Well you'd be wrong - I didn't. I'm waiting for it to come onto TV...but I do love the fact that Katy Perry voices Smurfette, considering her parents didn't let her watch the series as a child. Despite receiving negative responses from critics, the movie grossed $562,547,576 worldwide.

9. Cars 2

Another movie I really wanted to see but never got round to it! Michael Caine joined the cast for the sequel, as did Eddie Izzard, Jason Isaacs, Emily Mortimer and even a few F1 drivers!  I've heard a few bad reviews about this one, so I hope I'm not disappointed when I eventually get round to see it. Cars 2 grossed $559,852,396 worldwide.

10. Rio

This musical comedy did quite well to get onto the top 10 considering it's not a sequel, grossing $484,635,760 - although it was advertised to death in the UK. It had an all star cast of will.i.am, Anne Hathaway, Jesse Eisenberg to name a few - even Taio Cruz is on the soundtrack! The movie charts the story of Blu, a male macaw who is sent to Rio in order for him to reproduce. Of course nothing goes to plan, and Blu falls in love with Jewel (played by Hathaway) and together they must flee from an evil cockatoo.